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Are Your Dating Standards Too High?

Find out what's keeping you single.
When your friends joke that you're too picky, you tell them you have high standards but you're waiting for the right man. It's not your fault that your perfect partner isn't out there. But sometimes you can't help but wonder if you are setting your sights a tad too high. Are you waiting for Mr. Right to show up -- or Mr. Perfect?

Are you too picky?

Everyone has a list of criteria for selecting a prospective partner, be it personality, physical attractiveness, intelligence or social standing. But there's a big difference between having high requirements and having impossible, sky-high expectations.

"Being choosy about who you date is fine, but being picky to a fault is unreasonable," says Alison Blackman Dunham, author of The Everything Dating Book. Unrealistic expectations often arise when people get too closely focused on their dating checklist and don't allow for compromise. And the most unfortunate part? Women who set sky-high standards often let someone special get away because they're holding out for "someone better".

Common traits of happily married women

So what are the standards of other women like? Rhonda Findling, psychotherapist and author of The Dating Cure, has noted through her psychotherapy practice that women who are happily partnered share certain traits: They're less picky about superficial qualities, but are more demanding about his character traits, which include dependability, emotional availability, consistency and supportiveness. They're also very hopeful that they will meet and connect with a man.

But most importantly, perhaps, is that they are willing to make compromises. "For example, she may be willing to accept a man who earns less money than she does or is not as handsome as she hoped," says Findling.

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